So today I conned Kayla in to making me yet another new layout. And can I just say, I love it. Took us a few hours to work out, because I'm picky and changed my mind about things a few times, but all-in-all, I'm so happy with the end product. Britney looks amazing in the photos we chose.
So, I've decided that I need to appreciate myself more. I'm not completely hideous. I'm not a monster. Pretty much every single day, I look at myself in the mirror and all I can see are the flaws. I'm pretty much incapable of seeing anything good about myself. Except for maybe 5 times a year, if I'm lucky. I'm always the one to see how beautiful everyone else is...yet when I get complimented, I can't help but disagree. I am going to make a deal with myself. I need to look after myself, and feel pretty. If I don't feel pretty, no one else will think I'm pretty. Which will, in turn, make me feel less pretty. So basically, I just need to see some of the good things about myself, when I look in to a mirror.
I am so, so, over anxiety. Every day I have more than one panic attack. I try my hardest to get over them...if I'm at school, I used to run and hide away by myself whenever I had a panic attack, but now I make myself sit with it. I still struggle to be in a car for more than 5-8 minutes, but I know that I have to start making myself get in the car for longer amounts of time, again. I can't even get in the car in the morning, until Mum's already in it and ready to go. I won't sit in it if we're just sitting there dawdling around, I have to get out asap. Tomorrow, I have to go see my cousin for her birthday, and I'm already panicking about it. because it takes 11 minutes to get there. So, I'm going to ask mum to get the car out from under the carport, and I'm going to make myself sit in it for 20 minutes, without it being turned on. Because she knows how hard that will be for me. But I'll only do this if I'm panicky before we leave. It's kind of hard to explain what I mean, but I know what I mean.
It's getting late, and I'm starting to get tired, so I think I might end this blog entry now. Will post another one some time soon.
Sorry for my rambling on in every single post. I don't think anyone but Kayla reads this anyway, so she's used to it. If you're not Kayla but you read my posts, please comment this, so that I know someone else out there is reading. :).
So, I've decided that I need to appreciate myself more. I'm not completely hideous. I'm not a monster. Pretty much every single day, I look at myself in the mirror and all I can see are the flaws. I'm pretty much incapable of seeing anything good about myself. Except for maybe 5 times a year, if I'm lucky. I'm always the one to see how beautiful everyone else is...yet when I get complimented, I can't help but disagree. I am going to make a deal with myself. I need to look after myself, and feel pretty. If I don't feel pretty, no one else will think I'm pretty. Which will, in turn, make me feel less pretty. So basically, I just need to see some of the good things about myself, when I look in to a mirror.
I am so, so, over anxiety. Every day I have more than one panic attack. I try my hardest to get over them...if I'm at school, I used to run and hide away by myself whenever I had a panic attack, but now I make myself sit with it. I still struggle to be in a car for more than 5-8 minutes, but I know that I have to start making myself get in the car for longer amounts of time, again. I can't even get in the car in the morning, until Mum's already in it and ready to go. I won't sit in it if we're just sitting there dawdling around, I have to get out asap. Tomorrow, I have to go see my cousin for her birthday, and I'm already panicking about it. because it takes 11 minutes to get there. So, I'm going to ask mum to get the car out from under the carport, and I'm going to make myself sit in it for 20 minutes, without it being turned on. Because she knows how hard that will be for me. But I'll only do this if I'm panicky before we leave. It's kind of hard to explain what I mean, but I know what I mean.
It's getting late, and I'm starting to get tired, so I think I might end this blog entry now. Will post another one some time soon.
Sorry for my rambling on in every single post. I don't think anyone but Kayla reads this anyway, so she's used to it. If you're not Kayla but you read my posts, please comment this, so that I know someone else out there is reading. :).
I'm awesome.
ReplyDeleteRight you are, Kayla.
ReplyDeletesee what i did there? i incorporated a harry potter quote ;D
Ah, I love love love the layout. Britney Spears is so pretty:) Those pictures are great:)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with feeling better about yourself:) It is definitely a huge help if you try to focus on what's good instead of the bad. I didn't really liked the way I looked before, but now I've learned to see past my flaws. Of course I am not always happy about how I look, but I try not to focus on the bad things. It gets me nowhere.
Good luck with the drive. Hope it goes well!
@Cecilie :) thank you. She's so so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear. It's quite hard, but I think I'll start getting there eventually. Oh well done! Is anyone ever truly happy with how they look..? No one's perfect, we have to keep reminding ourselves that :).
Thanks love!
xx
I'm reading :)
ReplyDeleteI think i know what you mean by not being able to appreciate yourself. When people praise me i TRULY cannot understand why they do. But i can see all the nice things about people, too.
And i admire your determination to overcome your panic attacks. I hope you get better!!!
@onemorewinter :D :D
ReplyDeleteso we are pretty much twins. it's like, no matter what anyone says, you just don't find anything about yourself good. at all. but then in every other person, you manage to see nothing but greatness.
oh thank you, my dear! i hope i get better too :D