Saturday, May 22, 2010

I miss everyone.

Tonight I've been sitting here thinking about all the people I became friends with last year, and how much I miss them all. I made friends with people I never expected to. I found an amazing boy who liked me and I liked him but I ruined everything by not letting anything happen because I'm so stupid, and was worried about the fact that he lives in Swan Hill. I miss last year. Everything was so perfect. Don't get me wrong, this year has been pretty great. But last year was amazing. This year's been such a let down after it. I've found another boy that I really like, and he likes me too. But he lives in Melbourne. And he's 1 and a bit years younger than me. And he's my friend's ex. And I've never actually met him. I swear I'm just destined to be alone, for my whole high school experience. I've lost quite a few close friends, this year. It's my own fault, though. I'm pretty much distancing myself from everyone I love. I don't know why. Maybe it's the fact that I feel like I'm not good enough for them and they deserve better. Maybe it's because I don't want to let them down. I don't know. But then at the same time, I'm getting so much happier with the person I am. I'm becoming me. Who I want to be. I just wish I had the boy, to be with.
I've made some great friends this year, though. Specifically, Darcy, Dawm and Nate. They are 3 of my best male friends, and I've known them all less than 6 months. I swear it's not normal. And I've gotten closer to some others, too.
I don't really know what the point of this blog entry was. If there even was one. But all I know is, I really really like Dallas. And I miss everyone. And I'm sorry.

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